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Painstakingly researched
and tapping in to the
public's insatiable
general interest with the
written word, Wrotten
English contains curious
opening lines, fantastic
fictions whose titles are
too terrible to be true
and some of the most
suggestive double
entendres committed by
those who really should
know better!
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Heffa Lump is still
living at home in Spatula
having graduated from the
Spatula Academy of
Fictional Excellence,
and is looking forward to
a life of notoriety as
the girlfriend of the
fabulously wealthy
vampire Teddy Kelledy.
Still desperate for fame,
Heffa considers entering
Undead's Got Talent,
judged in part by the
fearsome Vindicti.
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Hey you! Yeah, you
holding this book, you
with the face like a
constipated greyhound.
You're the sap in the
family tree. Wouldn't
know your langer from
your thumb except for the
nail. Word is if brains
were taxed you'd be due a
rebate. But why stand
there and be insulted?
With the help of this
invaluable collection of
Irish insults, you'll be
able to tell your boss
that for someone without
cows he produces an awful
lot of bullshit. Or your
husband he's as useful as
a concrete currach. Or
you might observe that
your wife's arse is as
wide as a Leitrim
hurler's shot. The size
of this book is 17.5cm in
height and 10.5cm wide
with 64 pages.
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Combining gems from the
archives with despatches
obtained through the
Freedom of Information
Act, this title is a
treasure trove of wit,
venom and serious
analysis. It sheds light
on Britain's place in the
world, and reveal the
curious cocktail of
privilege and privation
which make up the life of
an ambassador.
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All you want is a decent
cup of tea. But oh no,
modern Britain wants to
sell you a fancy Dan
coffee in a mug the size
of a popcorn bucket,
complete with double
cream, chocolate
sprinkles, and no change
from a five pound note.
Everywhere you look,
modern life has turned
common sense completely
on its head.
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Outlines acceptable
practices and procedures
in various social
situations. This book
also outlines many
everyday actions, while
not illegal or immoral,
that are generally
considered improper. It
establishes and
reinforces life rules
required to be a
productive member of
society.
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'Capital Letters' is a
rich observation of life
unfolded in a series of
humorous letters to a
friend, written over a
three year period
describing the author's
journeys to London and
using different modes of
transport (often
unreliable and
unpredictable) t
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A collection of cliches.
It looks at cliches in
their many forms - once
useful but overworked
catch phrases ('move the
goal posts'), worn-out
sayings ('all hands on
deck'), pointless
phrases used to conceal a
weak argument ('to be
perfectly honest'), tech
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Bill O'Really is always
right - far right. But he
loves to spread liberal
doses of humour around,
read as he rants about:
Al Gore, Al Qaeda, The
Homeless, The Vacation
Homeless, Gay Marriage,
Gay Divorce, Gun racks,
Wine racks, Health
Insurance, Operators in
India, and Operators in
Indiana.
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Drawing on the author's
range of cartoons of
Madiba since the late
1980s, this book
presents personal
anecdotes about the
author's first political
cartoons, his meetings
with Madiba, commentary
on the stories and
inspiration behind the
cartoons, and the r
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From the people at
bigdamnfunny.com comes
Big Damn Book! Containing
classic Big Damn Funny
content as well as new
material, this
collection of the funny
is sure to bring a smile
to even the most
humor-impaired
individual. Maybe even a
groups of individuals.
Possibly hordes. Enjoy!
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It is normal for British
travel writers to head
south for a destination
that is hot, exotic,
dangerous, or all three.
The author of this book -
a mixture of description
and low-grade buffoonery
- chose a country which
is damp, safe and of
legendary banality:
Belgium.
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In early 1993, at the
age of eighty, Brian
Johnston embarked on a
nationwide theatre tour
with his one-man show
called An Evening with
Johnners. This book was
first published in 1996
and contains all the
material from the
original recording. This
centena
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Helps readers learn to
unravel the circuitous
claptrap of politicos
ranging from Caesar to
Condoleezza Rice, and
Genghis Khan to Al
Sharpton. This title
enables you to learn how
to identify tricks such
as the Texas Sharpshooter
Fallacy and the Fallacy
Fallacy or Argumentum ad
Logicam.
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Possibly the only
drawback about the How To
Be A Woman was that its
author, was limited to
pretty much one subject:
being a woman. This book
is a proof that she can
actually be 'quite
chatty' about other
things, including
cultural, social and
political
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A collection of
misanthropic scribblings
that tackles the
information ranging from
the misery of nightclubs
to the death of Michael
Jackson, making room for
Sir Alan Sugar, potato
crisps, global financial
meltdown, conspiracy
theories and Hole in the
Wall
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iGrump is the
technophobe's handbook,
a glorious rant about
every bit of new
technology supposedly
designed to make our
lives easier. Hah! And
don't get him started on
mobile phones or we'll be
here all night. No, we
will. Filled with the
typical wit and
observation, and just
plain grumpiness, that
have made each of the
Grump books bestsellers
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With his lightning-quick
wit, unbridled
creativity and his ear
for the absurd, Milligan
revolutionised British
comedy, leaving a legacy
of influence that
stretches from Monty
Python's Flying Circus to
the work of
self-confessed acolytes
such as Eddie Izzard and
Stephen Fry today. This
is his autobiography.
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Focuses on one of the
most chaotic,
exhausting, demanding
jobs on the planet,
Retail Slavery. This book
exposes the day to day
trauma of retail life
while delivering
practical, cynical, and
sometimes brutally
satirical advice on how
to get through it without
scars.
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'You Numpty!' is a phrase
that you hear on a
regular basis. In the
street, on radio and TV
and even in the movies.
The word originated in
Scotland and has come
into common usage all
over the UK. But what
exactly is a Numpty? This
title tells you what you
need to know about the
most-mocked character in
parlance.
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Contains many legal
observations and sayings,
arranged in sections
covering justice, the
law, lawyers, courts,
libel, crime and
punishment, and wills.
This book is illustrated
with cartoons and
sketches. It is suitable
for lawyers as well as
those who interested in
the mysterious workings
of the law.
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From short, fat, bald
John Adams' wig-throwing
tantrums during the 1800
election to Abraham
Lincoln's decision to
grow a beard in 1860; and
from Washington's false
teeth to George W Bush's
workout regimen, this
title tells the story of
America's love affair
with presidential looks
and appearance.
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From the bestselling
author of Great British
Wit and the Funniest
Thing You Never Said Do
you think the world's
going to hell in a
handcart? Do you believe
the light at the end of
the tunnel is an oncoming
train? If the answer is a
heartfelt yes, youï ½ll
feel right at home among
the malcontents and
misanthropes here. Victor
Meldrew, Basil Fawlty,
Jack Dee, Joan Rivers
and Rodney Dangerfield
are just some of the
world-class curmudgeons
who sound off hilariously
about everything that
makes us seethe ï ½ from
cold callers to caravans,
traffic wardens to dog
muck. With over 4, 000
entries, this is the
most comprehensive
collection of grumpiness
there has ever been.
Climb aboard the
handcrart and fasten your
seat belts, itï ½s going
to be a grumpy ride.
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It's the dark side that
most cat owners never
see. The side that
wouldn't be caught dead
purring. Here, in
colour, in all their
infamy, are hundreds of
trouble makers and moggy
delinquents. They're bad
cats, with bad
intentions and bad
attitude. So the next
time your cat misses the
litter tray, ask
yourself - was it really
an accident?
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Uses the best-selling
format established for
the 100, 000 selling When
I Were A Lad From the
same author/photographer
combination as When Cats
Assassinate, The
Thoughts of Chairman
Miaow and Gnomes of the
Silver Screen Capitalises
on the BIG LOVE for
meerkats first generated
by the BBC series Meerkat
Manor
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Don't you just hate it
when you lose an
unexpected public
confrontation, and only
when you've skulked away
with your tail between
your legs you have the
composure to work out
what you should have
said? This title offers
hundred of"es that
give you the
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No one can dispute that
football has provided
some of the
funniest"es
(intentionally or not) in
the history of sport -
and The Big Book of
Football's
Funniest"es is the
most comprehensive
collection of these
hilarious comics ever
published. Featuring an
incredible 1, 500
ridiculous"es from
and about some of the
most famous names in
football.
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Country life isn't so
much tiptoeing through
the tulips as
slip-slopping through the
cowshit. This collection
of witticisms on the
bittersweet delights of
country life can
entertain and amuse,
whether you're a
countryside lover or
reading about it in the
comfort of a metropolitan
retreat.
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Each place has
characteristics that make
it unique.
Containing"es from
the worlds of sports,
business, entertainment,
and politics, this book
features 52 sections: one
for each state, one for
the District of Columbia,
and one entitled
Anywhere and Everywhere,
which includes"es
and quirks referring to
the entire US or to
specific regions.
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A translation of
Philogeios - a
1600-year-old collection
of Greek jokes. From
absurd situations to
general stupididity,
farting to foolishness,
it includes such 'old
chestnuts' as: At a
woman's funeral, a
stranger solemnly asks,
Who is resting here? 'I
am!' cries the widower,
'Now that she's gone!'
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What questions would you
ask a doctor at a comedy
gig? Is it healthy to
sleep with a pet? What
are the side effects of
budgie-smuggling? Is
horse riding riskier that
ecstasy? Do love eggs
need to be fitted? Do
unlucky beds exist? Do
doctors ever pretend to
hear noises with a
stethoscope? Should I
hand-wash my merkin?
What's the best sexual
position for losing
weight? Has everyone had
more sex than me? Should
I have Scrabble before
marriage? What should I
do if someone dies on me
during sex? GP and
comedian Phil Hammond has
collected two hundred and
fifty of life's quirkiest
queries from audiences
across the UK. Open wide
for the finest answers to
the most bizarre
questions, ranging from
tongue in cheek to
absolutely filthy...yet
surprisingly useful.
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The bottom line is this:
the workplace is a
minefield of business
jargon that people bandy
about on a daily basis.
This title takes a look
at office jargon,
uncovering the origins
and meanings of many
useful - and some not so
useful - phrases that can
be heard in the workplace
and in everyday life.
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'Fuller's Dictionary of
Daffynitions' is THE
lexicon for all students
of wordplay... an
Aladdin's cave of double
entendre and innuendo; an
encyclopaedia of
equivoque; an arsenal of
ammunition for exponents
of bon mots, burlesque
and badinage... a
veritabl
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Shows you hundreds of
ways to revolt against
the tedium of everyday
life. Whether it's making
rude gestures to a hotel
clerk under the desk or
making your own 'Do Not
Disturb' sign that says
'Come In If You Like
Swordplay', this
collection allows you to
unleash your rebellious
side - without getting
arrested.
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Everybody's history
remembers for being
blessed or cursed with a
memorable moniker. This
guide to the peculiar
nicknames of history
gives brief biographies
of not just the Good,
the Bad and the Unready,
but also the Shaggy, the
Worthless, the Silly,
the Elephant, the King
of Slops and many more.
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For a stand-up comedian,
a heckler is either a
curse or a blessing. On
one hand, the drunk at
the back of the room
yelling incoherent
nonsense can ruin the
evening for everyone. But
on the other, a funny,
well-timed heckle can
really ramp up the
laughter in the room. In
this title, the author
has compiled 200 of his
favourites.
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Beginning with close to
200 of the most powerful
and oft-cited"es
from movies (Do, or do
not - there is no try),
television (The truth is
out there), comics (With
great power comes great
responsibility),
science, the Internet,
and more, this title
offers illuminating
insights into the eternal
truths to be found
therein.
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Do you even know what a
real man is? Are you a
six-foot-one Adonis who
wears all the latest
fashions, moisturises
regularly and never does
anything wrong? Or are
you the kind of bloke who
drinks twenty pints every
Friday night, guzzles a
kebab on the way home and
then farts himself to
sleep? Thankfully there
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Looks at the literary
life and its 'attendant
woes: isolation,
writer's block,
professional jealousy,
and plain boredom.' This
book is also about life
in general, with its
anguish, turnips,
conjunctions, illness,
defeat, string,
parties, no parties,
desuetude, fever,
tides, labels,
mourning, elsewards.
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Have you ever wondered
why you bother to go to
work? Whether there might
be a better, happier way
to live our lives? This
book aims to take the
reader on a journey
towards freedom and
happiness. It helps you
learn how to throw off
the shackles of anxiety,
bureaucracy, debt,
housework, pain,
poverty, ugliness, war
and waste, and much else
besides.
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A collection of author's
comic drawings that
covers the world's worst
comeback lines, the
world's worst comeback
lines, to brilliant
charts and graphs
(Incidence of Lung Cancer
in Dragons, A Sad
Clown/Happy Clown Venn
Diagram) and a
bittersweet ghost
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Starting your own
religion can be an
exciting road to fun and
profit. You may need the
following, easily found
around the house: a god
(or gods); a theology;
some rituals; and, holy
objects (Anything can be
sacred if you make up a
good story about it). Th
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If Latin's good enough
for Caesar, it's good
enough for you. And some
things just sound far
better in the old tongue.
No longer 'the dead
language', this title
aims to give Latin a new
lease of life in a manner
befitting
twenty-first-century folk
and their daily
chit-chat, ranging from
Sat Nav and MySpace to
plastic surgery and
bingedrinking.
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While dipping into The
Children's Encyclopaedia
of 1910, the author came
across a small but
indispensible guide to
procuring and caring for
your pet squirrel.
Intrigued by the unlikely
notion of a child
attempting to keep so
wild an animal, he
created a series of
delightful, beautifully
finished illustrations to
accompany the text.
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What was Margaret
Thatcher's favourite
sitcom? Which British
league football team's
name has no letters that
one could colour in with
a pen? And how many
calories do you consume
when you lick a stamp.
This title provides
answers to such questions
and contains a miscellany
on a range of topics,
including Literature,
Geography, Food and
more.
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Ever wondered where the
Toby Jug came from, why
Morris Dancers exist, or
whether Marmite came
before Bovril? Like to
know more about the
Yorkshire pudding, or
who invented Bingo? Not
sure which side your
Hovis should be buttered
on? Then this is the book
for you.
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Like many in their middle
years, Dennis the Menace
has taken up golf. This
book illustrates Dennis'
pieces of blatant
gamesmanship. It includes
thirty Rules - from
'Exerting influence on
the ball' to 'Referee's
decisions', also
covering points of
etiquette.
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A collection of tales,
featuring a host of
former sportspeople: from
Maude Waveney, the
plucky servant girl who
bravely took half a day
off work scrubbing
kitchen floors to win a
gold medal folding
bedsheets in the first
London games, to Tom
Drake, Dressage's first
punk, who shocked the
sport with his slashed
jacket and swear words on
his hat.
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Those DIY jobs really can
wait until the weather
gets better; the garden
is a fine place to spend
a summer Sunday
afternoon; does it sound
familiar? Let's face it:
you are turning into your
Dad! This book assists
you to make the
transition from wide-eyed
dreamer to wise old
counsel.
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Have you ever noticed how
that the woman across the
road has a hairstyle
almost identical to that
of her mother? Does the
old family ritual of
ironing all clothes,
including underwear,
somehow seem quite
reasonable today? Let's
face it: you are turning
into your Mum! This book
helps you make the
transition from a dreamer
to wise old counsel.
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The definitive guide for
organising stag weekends
and stag nights - the
best selling guide for
several years running.
This updated 3rd edition
for 2011 includes travel
guides and everything the
best man needs to plan
the trip including: good
websites to check out,
speeches, forfeits,
drinking games, and a
host of case studies.
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A guide to the culture of
Ireland that helps you
discover how feckin'
deadly Irish Slang can
be, find out why
plastic-wrap played a
vital role in the sex
lives of the Irish in the
seventies, learn the
words to the most beloved
Irish songs and get the
recipes for the most
famous and delicious
Irish dishes.
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This book is a dazzling
exploration of our
universe and our
relationship to it.
Christopher Potter takes
on a voyage beyond even
time and space, to the
present stat of
scientific knowledge with
wit and erudition. It is
the story of how
something evolved from
nothing, and how
something became
everything. It is the
story of science: the
greatest ever told. Here,
for the first time in a
single span, is the life
of the universe, from
quarks to galaxy
super-clusters, and from
slime to Homo Sapiens.
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The author loves post. In
April 2011 he launched a
service on his website,
where, for a small
payment, he would send
his customer a vintage
postcard with one of his
iconic drawings and an
offensive message on the
back. This title
showcases 100 of his favo
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Shows readers how they
can all can jump on the
bandwagon and learn to
become just that little
bit Greek. This book
teaches how to learn to
feel enormous joy
whatever your situation,
eat Greek (calories -
consume as many as
possible), exercise
Greek (see the Zorba
workout), and practice
the art of seduction (How
Greek is Your Love?).
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As a serious study of the
nuances of the English
language as spoken in
Ireland, this book is as
useful as tits on a bull.
On the other hand, if
you'd like to have a
baldy of understanding
the various expressions
you regularly hear around
Ireland, you'd have to
be a few brassers short
of a whorehouse to ignore
it. So stall the ball
there! Whether you're a
fine doorful of a woman
or you're so hungry you'd
eat an oul' wan's arse
through a blackthorn
bush, this invaluable
collection of Ireland's
most treasured (and
irreverent) sayings is
definitely worth having a
gander at. The size of
this book is 17.5cm in
height and 10.5cm wide
with 62 pages.
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Looks at what the author
learnt on his quixotic
quest, namely: if all
you have between birth
and death is a journey,
and if the journey is all
we have, then wouldn't
it be best to make it
fun? This book asserts
that mantras as simple as
'Do something silly' or
'Find the courage to
follow your intuition'
can make life more
enjoyable.
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When Aleksandr discovers
that the stinky half
metal, half mongoose
scoundrel that is evil
Doctor Robogoose has
captured his beloved
Princess Maiya, he has
to don his Turbo-Charged
Flying Cape and swoop to
the rescue. Will he be
successful? Will he save
th
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Anyone can be a success,
but it takes real and
original genius to foul
up big time. This book
intends to celebrate the
most spectacular and
absurd failures of the
last twenty-five years.
It features 235 stories
in total spread from the
Outer Hebrides to A
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The Idler team believe
that idleness is unjustly
criticised in modern
society when it is, in
fact, a vital component
of a happy life. This
book examines the way
money and greed have
taken over our lives and
looks at ways of escaping
its clutches. It intends
to reintroduce a
fun-loving medieval
attitude to life,
looking at how to avoid
consuming.
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Let's get stoned! Whether
you go for an after-work
treat to take the edge
off the day or want your
party to pack a punch,
these tasty little
recipes will help get you
there, the natural way.
We begin with the story
of Mary Jane Belmont and
her protege, Dr
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Have you put aside a bit
of wood to use for
stirring paint? Were you
quite pleased to be given
socks as a Christmas
present? In the last
twelve months have you
visited more garden
centres than nightclubs?
Have you recently become
the proud owner of a pair
of driving gloves?
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For everyone who has
followed Charlie Sheen's
antics and yearned for
the same do-or-die
attitude and lust for
life, this book (with
absolutely no endorsement
from Hollywood celebrity
Charlie Sheen) speculates
on what the Man Himself
would do when faced wi
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If you have ever spent a
night tossing and
turning, worrying about
life's worst scenarios,
this is the book for you.
The Insomniac's Guide
takes you on a journey
through the middle of the
night that you will never
forget; it's perceptive,
revelatory and w
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The last time a guy felt
like a tool had nothing
to do with his inability
to tie the perfect
Windsor, select the
correct fork for the
second course, or fight
off a bear (because that
guy's dead). This title
collects all the trivia
and everyday knowledge
any guy should know - and
tests him to make sure
he's up to speed on what
really matters.
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* New in paperback,
never-before-published
gags, routines,
sketches and scripts *
'Contains gems of
Dawsonian surrealism' The
Spectator * 'How
infinitely clever,
pithy, imaginative and
genuinely surreal were
the works of Les
Dawson...funny and
touching selection' Mail
on Sunday
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When Mitchell Symons
wrote his extraordinary
bestsellers This Book,
That Book and The Other
Book - all neatly
combined in one
sensational volume, The
Ultimate Loo Book - he
was judged by many to be
the King of Trivia. Now,
inThe Bumper Book for the
Loo, this supremo of
weird and wonderful,
astonishing and
inexplicable facts,
figures, stats and
stories returns with a
super selection of
trivialistic treats -
each one more remarkable
and, yes, even more
trivial than anything
he's compiled
before. For example,
did you know that... The
first alarm clock could
only ring at 4
a.m... There was once an
internet rumour that
Belgium doesn't
exist... In 1830, King
Louis XIX ruled France
for just 15
minutes... All mammals
have jaws but only humans
have chins... Peru has
more pyramids than
Egypt... Packed to the
rafters with all manner
of useful and useless
information, lists of
the biggest, the
smallest, the best and
the worst, The Bumper
Book for the Loo is a
hilarious compendium of
endless delights - and a
hugely entertaining,
unputdownable feat of
nonsense!
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Everything is not always
as it seems - and is
usually worse. This title
reveals the evil
underbelly that corrupts
even the most innocuous
people, places, and
things. From the cute
kitten carrying parasites
to the cotton gin sealing
the fate of American
slaves, it looks into
the flippin' flip side of
life that is as hilarious
as it is horrifying.
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Crap at My Parent's House
is a very funny reader
content-submitted blog in
which people send in
photos of the bizarre,
ugly and tacky jokes,
do-dads and random
furnishings at their
parents house. This book
features 150-200 entries
divided into categories
like: Useless Crap,
Household Crap, Bathroom
Stuff, Electronic Crap,
Religious Crap, and
more.
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Presents a cowgirl's
reflections on livin' n'
dyin', laughin' n'
cryin', marryin' n'
divorcin', winnin' n'
losin', singin' n'
dancin', ropin' n'
ridin', feedin' n'
waterin', saddlin' n'
shoein', bridlin' n'
cinchin', campin' n'
cookin', smokin' n'
drinkin', eatin' n'
fartin', whoopin' n'
hollerin', herdin' n'
wranglin', and fishin'
n' huntin'.
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I've travelled the world
and met some of its
kindest, most
intelligent, generous,
elusive, cranky,
unpredicatable and at
times crazy inhabitants
but at the same time they
are also its most
extraordinary. Each of
them has a story to tell.
Their hopes, dreams and
fears are the same as
anyone's but in every
other way they are the
definition of
extraordinary. i've leant
a huge amount from them -
and I think the world can
too. This book has 285
pages and is 19.7cm x
13cm x 2.2cm
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A compendium of tales of
the departed. It looks at
the funny side of one of
life's certainties. It
also provides advice on
planning your big finish
and how to attract the
crowds at your funeral,
as well as inspirational
anecdotes involving
extremely anima
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If youï ½re looking for
trouble, disaster and
devilment, then youï ½ve
come to the right place.
Working on the basis that
there is nothing better
than laughing at other
peopleï ½s misfortunes,
FHM is proud to present
this hilarious collection
of misadventures and
wrongdoings. Every month,
in the pages of the
worldï ½s greatest
magazine, our readers
relieve themselves of
their terrible burden and
generously share their
genuine and, of course,
funny stories of pain,
humiliation and
stupidity. Uncomfortable
scrapes with the law,
buttock-clenching awful
encounters with
prospective in-laws, the
most embarrassing
injuries that ever
troubled an A&E
department and bucket
loads of bodily fluids
deposited in the most
inappropriate places ï ½
these tales of woe and
perverted moments, most
involving sex, alcohol
or both, are shamelessly
offered for your perusal
and enjoyment.
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Contains stuff that a
wrinkly needs to know
about the world, and
quite a lot that they
don't but will find quite
interesting anyway! This
book provides light
relief during advertising
breaks or when some awful
celebrity
talent-show-reality-tv-thing
is on, and be a source
of interesting"es
and facts for the
restless wrinkly.
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A humourous repertoire of
classical invective,
using the language of
Cicero, Martial, Ovid,
Catullus, Horace and
others. Arranged in
sections for the sexless,
gormless, worthless and
unscrupulous, with
regional taunts and
threats. Contains
illustrations from
classical sources.
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How Not to Talk Like an
Arse is Richard Wilson's
hilarious, and topical,
self righteous stab at
the modern day
vernacular, taking aim
at the invention of
nonsensical words that
not only are just plain
crap but also make those
who dare speak them sound
like complete twits.
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The author first started
presenting the BBC Radio
1 breakfast show in 1988.
As part of his show, he
invited his listeners to
share with him their
deepest darkest secrets,
and the letters came
flooding in. This title
presents a collection of
the best (and worst)
letters and emails from
his ever popular radio
show.
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Embracing vivid
literature, language,
history, and
personalities, this
title covers sex in all
its delightful variety,
taking a light-hearted
look at the biological
mechanics, and drawing
on the intimate true-life
stories of sex-havers
young and old, prof
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A collection of
little-known facts about
the world that are weird,
creepy, and disgusting.
Educational, and
horrifying, it
enlightens you to a
variety of troubling
truths about topics
ranging from the secret
ingredient found in
bottled water to what
your brother was doing
just before you shook his
hand.
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Addressing questions such
as Is a vegetable-lamb a
vegetable or a lamb; Does
licking the Pope make you
trayf; What exactly is a
Pollo Maligno; and, Is
Sasquatch roast stringy,
this work is suitable for
those seeking to broaden
their imaginary culinary
experiences guilt-free.
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Gadgets that are supposed
to make life easier have
just made it more
complicated and annoying.
This title is suitable
for those who find
themselves shouting at a
recorded voice on the
phone, who have been
driven crazy by the
illogical pricing of
train tic
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Danny Wallace has had a
baby and has been
hobnobbing with the
powers that be in
Hollywood. But that
hasn't made him any less
awkward. Being more of a
grown up brings its own
baffling etiquette and
expected social graces,
and no-one has told
Danny. This title helps
you join Danny on his
funny stumble through the
Awkward Situations.
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Celebrates a time of
innocence, when
advertisers could tell us
any old garbage and we'd
believe it. From the
minor untruth -
typewriters that make the
working day so much fun
(really?) - to the
amazing claim -
cigarettes that are
recommended by doctors,
this book contains 85 of
the most outrageous
adverts to have been
thought up by ad execs.
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Is Weed Killer more
important than Killer
Weed? Has LSD come to
mean Low Sodium Diet?
Have you joined a 12 Step
Program just to get up
twelve steps? Are the
Grateful Dead friends of
yours who have visited Dr
Kevorkian? Is your next
holiday at Club Med -
short for Club Medicare?
This book helps you solve
these.
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The rhetorical question
is one of those
grammatical quirks that
just doesn't seem to have
any logic to it: a
question that doesn't
require an answer - what
kind of question is that?
This book contains
answers to questions such
as: How long is a piece
of string? Whose life is
it anyway? How much is
that doggy in the window?
How soon is now?
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My name is Jack Reacher.
No middle name, no
address. I've got a rule.
Rule 1: if in doubt drink
coffee. Rule 2: never
volunteer for anything.
Soldier's basic rule.
Rule 3: don't break the
furniture. Rule 4: only
have one woman at a time.
Rule 5: be on you
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This is a voyage through
the strange yet
mesmerising mind of cult
author Karl Pilkington.
By his own admission Karl
Pilkington left formal
education behind with
only an E in History to
his name and not much
else. Ever since, his
thirst for knowledge has
nagged. With this in
mind, Karl has embarked
on a tour of discovery to
make up for the lost
years of learning, and
to find out more stuff.
"Karlology" is
the result.So what
exactly has Karl
Pilkington learned so
far? This is a man, it
should be noted, who
thinks owning 1, 777
acres of the moon is a
good idea, and believes
that the human testicles
should be relocated to
the earlobes. Maybe hes
right. Perhaps his unique
brand of wisdom and
insight is what the world
has been waiting for?
Judge for yourself:
observe, enjoy, and
become a Karlologist.
Illuminated by Karl
Pilkingtons own cartoons
with extra wisdom from
Ricky Gervais, Russell
Brand, David Baddiel,
Noel Fielding and others.
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Once upon a time Jeremy
Clarkson had a dream. A
world where the
nonsensical made sense,
the idiotic was abolished
and the sheer bloody
brilliant was embraced. 3
books later with 3
million copies sold, the
dreams of The World
According to Clarkson
continues. For anyone
who's ever woken up and
thought the time has come
to stop the nonsense and
celebrate the
sensational, read on.
Surprising, fearless and
always laugh-out loud
funny, Clarkson is back.
With dollops of humour
and heck of a vengeance.
This book has 332 pages
and is 24cm x 16cm x 3cm.
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When Britain gave
football to the world,
she also gave it a
distinctive terrace
culture, rich in humour
and foul in language. The
songs first generated on
the terraces continue to
cascade down the stands.
This collection brings
the best - and the worst
- of these songs together
including songs from
virtually every club in
the English leagues.
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Want to know the word for
the area on your back
that you can't reach to
scratch (acnestis)? Or
the term for the smell of
earth just after a
rainstorm (petrichor)?
With a chapter for each
letter of the alphabet,
this book introduces us
to hundreds of words the
author discovered that
deserve to see the light
of day again, and
explains why.
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The perfect gift for
anyone with an interest
in our scientific
history, When the Earth
Was Flat exposes the
scientific theories that
were once widely believed
to be true but have since
been disproved. Featuring
ideas that now seem more
crazy than credible,
from the human body being
made up of only four
humours - black and
yellow bile, blood and
phlegm - to the discovery
of the so-called 'missing
link' in the evolutionary
chain. When the Earth Was
Flat tells the
fascinating story behind
those scientific theories
we once believed to be
true, and shows how the
way we view the world,
and the way we think the
world works, has changed
completely throughout
history. 20 x 13.2 x 2.4
cm, pages 192
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Matthew Parris brings
together some of the
funniest despatches from
British Ambassadors
abroad, in this sequel
to his acclaimed Parting
Shots. Based on a new BBC
Radio 4 series, it shows
our representatives in
their best and worst
lights: rude and sympath
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Jack Schitt is a
fictional character. He
always wanted to be
Phillip Marlowe but could
never quite muster the
hard drinking, lacked
the physical stature (5'
6 in his cubans) and
stumbled over the
wisecracking patter. But
he could do all the
detective work that
small-town Wisconsin
could throw at him such
as spying on errant
husbands.
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Laugh in the face of
global economic meltdown
and double dip recession
with the hilarious new
book by cult animators
and cartoonists Modern
Toss. 64 pages of cutting
edge gags plucked fresh
from their regular slot
in Britain's funniest
magazine, Private E
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Cat lovers everywhere
will wryly recognize
their own lives in these
whimsical vignettes.
Worshipped since ancient
times, cats are fickle,
capricious and fiendishly
clever. Oh, did we
mention vain, elegant
and charming? Life has
got to be on their terms
or
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Enables a layperson to
identify and classify
their own cart spottings
based on the situation in
which they were found. In
five chapters, this book
leads the reader through
his identification
system, covering
littered locations such
as the Niagara River
Gorge and mundane sites
that look suspiciously
like a suburb near you.
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Denmark