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Humour collections & anthologies
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'They misunderestimated
me'...
He tends to
blurt out all or part of
what he's
really
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Tom Shields Goes Forth is
definitely the last
collection of 'bits' from
his diary column in The
Herald, before old age
and infirmity force him
into early retirement. A
compendium of fun,
insult and malapropism,
Tom Shields Goes Forth
delves irreverently into
every aspect of Scottish
society. Like the
author's newspaper diary,
this is a quirky, witty
commentary on life as we
know it. Casting a
scrupulous eye over the
humdrum aspects of
society that we mere
mortals take for granted,
Tom Shields revels in
the inconsistencies and
incongruities - and other
longish words - of
everyday cultural
artefacts. For those
unfortunate enough to
have read the first three
books in the series, Tom
Shields Goes Forth is the
icing on a cake which has
entertained generations
and endangered that
common species: boredom.
Packed with what the
author considers to be
funny jokes, anecdotes
and waggish observations,
this book is a
collection for those who
believe that life is best
lived with more than a
generous pinch of salt
and with the tongue
lodged firmly in the
cheek.
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South American rats
settle arguments by
boxing. Tuna fish
sunbathe and herring
communicate with each
other by breaking wind.
Llamas hum to each other,
elephants impersonate
traffic sounds and whales
sing ballads. Some
kangaroos grow on
trees.
Strange
new, scientifically
proven facts about the
animal kingdom emerge
seemingly every day.
Here, gathered together
in one book, are
hundreds of the funniest,
most fascinating and
plain bizarre things we
have discovered about the
non-human
world.
All animal
life is here: from the
only dog that can develop
gout to the wren whose
song sounds just like
Beethoven, from the
cattle that generate
electricity to the worm
that has the power to
brainwash. It is a book
full of surprises. Who
would have thought
giraffes can't trot,
reindeer 'fly' after
taking magic mushrooms or
that elk turn nasty when
drunk? Who would have
known that shark embryos
attack, that
caterpillars tap dance or
that - out of our earshot
- male mice are
serenading their
girlfriends with
high-pitched love songs?
And who on earth would
have guessed that male
pandas court potential
partners by performing
handstands?
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What do you call the
groove that runs between
your nose and your
mouth?
What
is
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My parents have always
been there for me, ever
since I was about seven -
David
Beckham
For
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£8.26
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If you are already an
addict of the Herald's
Diary, this sixth
collection of comic
wisdom will confirm what
you've long suspected -
that the Diary's benign
and anecdotal brand of
laugh-out-loud Scottish
satire is the perfect
accompaniment for every
social occasion (except
perhaps funerals).If
you've so far been
unaware of the Diary,
buying this handy
distillation of its best
parts will increase your
virility, stave off
dengue fever, combat
emotional turmoil and
charm cats down from
trees - possibly. From
the coruscating humour of
the pub to the innocent
sayings of the
playground, from the
gallows humour of the
courts to the doubtful
wit of our politicians,
the Diary faithfully
records the funny and odd
byways of Scotland.
Compiled by Ken Smith and
David Belcher with the
generous assistance of
Herald readers around the
world, all of whom are
keen to share their
delight at the
ridiculousness of
humanity, the very best
of the Diary is squeezed
within these pages.
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It's back! The
bestselling,
blockbusting, bumper
book of
humorous"ations
rides back into town with
over 6, 000 new"es.
From times past to the
modern day, classic
funnies to contemporary
wit, The Funniest
Thing You Never Said
2 delivers an
unbeatable selection of
fantastic and
hilarious"es on
every subject under the
sun. Featuring topics as
diverse as celebrity to
religion, and including
a cast of"ees
ranging from Oscar Wilde
to Homer Simpson,
there's something here
for everyone with a sense
of
humour.
Availability: In Stock
£8.26
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'A fool sees not the same
tree that a wise man
sees, ' as William Blake
so aptly put it. What he
probably meant, being a
publisher and a printer
himself, was that the
wise man cuts down the
tree and turns the
resultant paper into a
one-size-fits-all book
packed with the sagest
advice, quips
and"ations from some
of the wisest and
funniest people whose
counsel you could ever
wish to hear.
A
Word from the Wise
is a one-stop
shop with over 6,
000"es. It's a vast
resource, but every one
is a gem, from such
knowledgeable souls as
Hunter S Thompson, The
Talmud, Dorothy Parker
and Daffy
Duck.
With
each"e handily
placed within every
possible category you
could think of, and with
more"es in every
genre than anywhere else,
A Word From the Wise
is a must for anyone
who thinks they could do
with knowing a little bit
or a lot
more.
'A"ation
at the right moment is
like bread in a famine'
The
Talmud
'Imagination
is more important than
knowledge' Albert
Einstein
'If you
can count your money,
you don't have a billion
dollars' John Paul
Getty
'Violence is
the repartee of the
illiterate' George
Bernard
Shaw
'Women who
seek to be equal to men
lack ambition' Timothy
Leary
'A
narcissist is someone
better-looking than you
are' Gore
Vidal
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Crossing continents and
centuries Stephen Arnott
brings us invaluable
information about all
kinds of bizarre regional
customs - from sexual
practices to the received
wisdom on cannibalism -
that could save you from
embarrassing local
faux pas while
travelling.
Did
you know that amongst the
Tartars, relations of
the bride and bridegroom
would traditionally
divide into two groups
and fight each other
until some had suffered
bleeding wounds? It was
thought that causing
blood to flow in this way
would ensure the couple
had strong sons; or that
in Hungary, a cure for
infertility was to beat a
barren woman with a
stick? The stick having
previously been used to
separate mating dogs; or
that amongst some
Aboriginal tribes of New
South Wales that men who
had any contact with
their mothers-in-law
would suffer terrible
hard luck? The threat was
so great that married men
even avoided looking in
their mother-in-law's
general
direction.
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£4.49
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If you've ever wondered
what boys really think of
girls and what girls
really think of boys,
this is your chance to
find out. Do boys think
girls have a better dress
sense? Do girls think
boys are better at maths
and science? And who has
the most disgusting
habits? Packed full of
opinions, from the
ridiculous to the
frighteningly spot-on,
this book might make you
mad, it might make you
laugh out loud and it
will certainly surprise
you.
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£4.68
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James Thurber was the
most original,
influential and, less we
should forget, funniest
American humorist of the
last century. Writing and
drawing cartoons for the
New Yorker
magazine from it's
beginnings in the 1930s,
he steadily shaped his
own unique comic
universe: a world
governed by absurd logic
where the trivial
anxieties of everyday
life slowly grind down
its resigned citizens.
Thurber's tales,
alternately related in
bemused deadpan and
bewildered rage and are
always excruciatingly
funny and occasionally
quietly disturbing too.
This brand new selection,
the first in over 50
years, reassembles his
finest work for a new
generation brought up on
David Lynch and Jerry
Seinfeld and features all
his famous obsessions:
the battle of the sexes,
animals, travel, the
delusional and
certifiably insane. His
'casuals', as he liked
to call his short pieces,
drift between commercial
fiction and surreal
memoir. Spanning his
whole career, this
collection includes all
his classic writings and
cartoons, 'The Dream
Life of Walter Mitty',
'The Catbird Seat', 'The
Seal in the Bedroom',
and half-forgotten gems
that may be new even to
fully qualified Thurber
fans.
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In Fur Shui Paula takes
readers on a
light-hearted romp
through the application
of the ancient and
venerable universal laws
of energy drawn from The
Black Hat School of Feng
Shui and how they relate
to the furry folk world
of pets and animals. This
primer introduces a new
branch of animal Feng
Shui that she calls 'fur
shui' and offers insight
into how Black Hat Feng
Shui translates into
Black Cat Fur Shui.
A delightfully
illustrated guide to
animal energies, Fur
Shui features helpful
charts as well as
information on fur
elementals and cycles,
fur chi dos and don'ts
and do-it-yourself tips
on moving back into
positive fur chi flow and
balance. It's a charming
look at the flow of
energy in animals and how
we can apply this
knowledge in fun yet
practical ways.
Availability: In Stock
£6.29
Available
-
It's back! The
bestselling,
blockbusting, bumper
book of
humorous"ations
rides back into town with
over 6, 000 new"es.
From times past to the
modern day, classic
funnies to contemporary
wit, The Funniest
Thing You Never Said
2 delivers an
unbeatable selection of
fantastic and
hilarious"es on
every subject under the
sun. Featuring topics as
diverse as celebrity to
religion, and including
a cast of"ees
ranging from Oscar Wilde
to Homer Simpson,
there's something here
for everyone with a sense
of
humour.
Availability: In Stock
£8.09
Available
-
When Jack Sued
Jill is the latest
collection of original
verse by maverick
multimillionaire
Availability: In Stock
£8.99
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Nothing less than a
catalogue of the most
courageous motoring
disasters of all time,
Tony Davis has stepped
behind the wheel of some
of the world's most
notoriously bad cars.
From the 1958 Ford Edsel,
which made 'Edsel' a
byword for failure, to
the much-loved travesty
that was the P76 (when
people took in the P76
for warranty work they
provided a list of things
that didn't need
fixing), these cars
really are the pits. Bad
design, appalling
execution, ridiculous
pretensions, ludicrous
names -- this detailed
and hilarious look at
automotive atrocities
from the 1950s to the
present day is nothing
les than a motoring Hall
of Shame.
101 of
the world's most
downright awful cars are
given the once-over,
from the East German
Trabant, with its
cotton-reinforced body,
to the
dafter-than-you'd-believe-possible
Lightburn Zeta Sports,
via the Corvair, Cedric,
Pinto and Imp. It's all
here -- the harebrained,
the unsightly, the
excruciatingly dull and
the magnificently
unsuccessful.
From Alfa to
Zeta, from the tiny to
the gargantuan, and from
the endearingly
incompetent to the
bombastically stupid,
Naff Motors will
leave you not only
laughing, but also
wondering how so many car
manufacturers got away
with so much for so
long.
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Whether for the loo or
bedside entertainment or
as a work of reference or
self-improvement The
Funniest Thing You Never
Said is the biggest
and best
humorous"ation book
there is - a complete
one-stop shop of witty
one liners."ations
are ordered not by A-Z,
but by thematic
categories: love;
business; religion;
celebrity, you name it,
every category is
covered.
The
collection includes all
the classics from Oscar
Wilde to Winston
Churchill, Dorothy
Parker to Groucho Marx
but also mines many new
hidden gems from lesser
lights and includes many
contemporary"es by
everyone from Jilly
Cooper to Jonathan Ross.
A standard companion for
new collectors, and a
fresh perspective for
serious"ation
addicts.
Availability: In Stock
£7.19
Available
-
If you've ever wondered
what boys really think of
girls and what girls
really think of boys,
this is your chance to
find out. Do boys think
girls have a better dress
sense? Do girls think
boys are better at maths
and science? And who has
the most disgusting
habits? Packed full of
opinions, from the
ridiculous to the
frighteningly spot-on,
this book might make you
mad, it might make you
laugh out loud and it
will certainly surprise
you.
Availability: In Stock
£4.49
Available
-
In his bestselling book
Join Me, Danny
Wallace instructs his
legions of followers to
Availability: In Stock
£4.49
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Over the years, when not
wearing his acting,
television or novelist
trousers, Stephen Fry
has written many articles
and itemries for
magazines, newspapers
and radio. This second
volume of Stephen Fry's
witty and incisive
articles from the pages
of the LISTENER and DAILY
TELEGRAPH provides the
perfect way to while away
the hours. As the title
suggests, PAPERWEIGHT
will make a handy
desk-top accessory as
well as a friendly
literary guacamole into
which the tired and
hungry reader might
happily dip the tortilla
chip of his curiosity
whenever the fancy takes
him.
Availability: In Stock
£8.98
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Featuring stories from a
host of top children's
authors and illustrators
including Tony Ross,
Dyan Sheldon, G. K.
Chesterton and Nicholas
Allan, this creepy
compendium is packed with
ghosts, witches,
monsters and bogeymen -
all the ingredients
needed for a tremulous
tale at bedtime, or any
time! Brand new
illustrations from
Nicholas Allan accompany
a ghostly tale from
Hilltop Hospital, the
exuberant witch who got
on at Paddington station
brightens the lives of a
host of commuters and a
resourceful little boy
catches the elusive
Bogeyman. -These
wonderfully creepy
stories will thrill and
delight the youngest of
readers, without scaring
them out of their wits!
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'We are all in the
gutter, but some of us
are looking at the
stars.' (Oscar
Wilde)
'I tell
Availability: In Stock
£9.00
Denmark