A toilet paper roll full of hilarious jokes to keep you entertained. You will be giggling in no time when you sit down & have a read of this roll full of toilet humor style jokes, made to keep you entertained. A visit to the bathroom will never be the same again! If you know someone who needs a good giggle or spends a lot of time in the bathroom, the ' Crap Jokes Toilet Roll ' is the perfect kitsch gift idea. Or just keep it on your desk & have a read when you need an afternoon chuckle! Toilet paper
- one of life's essentials!
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Here’s the perfect gift book for pop music fans, rockers & anyone else who has wondered what the lyrics of some famous songs are all about. There has been some fantastic songs written & composed over the last 50 years, however with the great & good often comes the pathetic & downright ridiculous. So for all those who enjoys poking fun at a load of tosh, then this celebration of the very worst pop lyrics of all time ever, is ideal. Why do I find it hard to write the next line? Spandau Ballet once asked. Even the greatest songwriters (and Spandau Ballet) have had the odd bad day at the office. Or more likely, a bad few minutes in the studio toilets scribbling the first words they can think of on the back of their tranquiliser prescription shortly before the vocal has to be recorded. Johnny Sharp has trawled half a century of lyrics to find the funniest examples of crippled couplets, outrageous innuendo, mixed metaphors, shameless self-delusion, nefarious nonsense & flagrant filth. Not to mention unforgivable over-use of alliteration. Crap Lyrics is a humorous celebration (and occasionally, condemnation) of over 120 of the most ridiculous hooks, lines & stinkers from pop poetry through the modern ages. Johnny Sharp has spent 15 years as a music journalist, & several of those years writing for NME under the name Johnny Cigarettes, so he knows that ridicule is nothing to be scared of. Hes serious as cancer when he asks: Are we human, or are we dancer? & where do we go from here? Is it down to the lake, I fear? While moving like a tortoise, full of rigor mortis? Whether youre a diplomat, or even down the Laundromat, if you have ever heard a song & thought You what?, this is the book for you. ...

If you’re a huge Crash Bandicoot fan, you want some huge Crash merch to match. &, luckily, this Crash Bandicoot XL Cable Guy is bigger than Dr Neo Cortex’s head… & his ego, for that matter! Yep, everything about this Crash Bandicoot Cable Guy is bigger & better… from his to-cool grin to eyebrows that make Cara Delevingne’s look downright plucked. He stands tall (12-inches, to be specific), like any hero should do, & is perfectly designed to give you a hand or two when it comes to holding your Play Station & Xbox controllers & even your smartphone! Plus, this Cable Guy comes with a 2-metre Lightning & micro USB (Universal Serial Bus) cable that you can use to charge your devices while they’re in Crash’s hands!  Crash is used to upholding freedom in the Wumpa Islands. Now, let him uphold your tech for you. How? Well, all you have to do is order this Crash Bandicoot XL Cable Guy today!      ...

Of all the famous bandicoots you know, which one comes to mind when we talk about energy? Like, serious energy. Like, more energy than a breakfast show host? It’s Crash, of course! We know you shouted his name out loud, & we also know that you can’t live without this Crash Bandicoot action figure! Modelled in detail that pixels can only dream about, this action figure is the most lifelike version of Crash you’ll find outside of Wumpa Isl&. He’s articulated, so moves better than a rolling stone. Oh, & because Crash likes to express his emotions more than an internet troll, this action figure has ball-jointed eyebrows that move like Emilia Clarke’s! This action figure is seriously (bandi)cool & is a must-have for any Crash Bandicoot fan. He even comes with a cardboard crate replica, making this figure even more (ahem) smashing! So, if you’re after an action figure that’s as explosive as a crate full of Nitro, you need this N. Sanely awesome Crash Bandicoot Action Figure!    ...

When you’re (ahem) crashing through the jungle as Crash Bandicoot, Aku Aku always has your back. &, now he’s got your tech, too! That’s because this Crash Bandicoot Aku Aku Cable Guy is there to hold your smartphone & games controllers! Crash Bandicoot’s sidekick moves around the front in this tech st&, taking the actual position of a mask on Crash instead of hanging in mid-air like an awkward silence. &, with the help of Crash Bandicoot’s arms, Aku Aku is primed to hold your smartphone & games controllers. He fits most smartphones & is designed to hold both Xbox & Play Station controllers. With his ability to stop Crash from losing lives, you could say that Aku Aku is supremely powerful. &, you can really feel that power in this Aku Aku Cable Guy. That’s because he comes with a charging cable with micro USB (Universal Serial Bus) & Lightning adaptors, allowing you to power-up your tech while it’s in Aku’s powerful hands. So, for a phone & controller holder that won’t let you (or your tech items) down, order this Crash Bandicoot Aku Aku Cable Guy today! ...

Of all the immensely famous bandicoots in the world, Crash still stands out. Maybe it’s gloves-&-no-shirt look, maybe it’s the Emilia Clarke eyebrows, or maybe it’s the fact that his games are crazier than a neon funfair on a sugar high. &, all that crazy coolness has been perfectly captured in this Crash Bandicoot 9” Statue! Is he flagging down traffic? Is he a bug stuck to your windscreen? If he was anyone else, you’d wonder about the pose. But, since it’s Crash, it makes total sense. He’s modelled with his craziness as unmistakable as an orchard of Wumpa fruit. &, he’s made from painted PVC, so he’ll last longer than, like, any stage from Crash 2! This statue stands about 23 cm tall & is sure to look great on the desk, display cabinet, or shelf of any Crash Bandicoot fan. So, if that’s you, or you know someone that’ll love it, order this Crash Bandicoot 9” N. Sane Trilogy Statue today!   ...

This mysterious Pop! Vinyl character features the Witchdoctor spirit Aku Aku! This spirit lives inside a wooden mask that helps put Crash on the right path, along with his friends. This famous character has appeared in all of the Crash Bandicoot games so far, so he is pretty much a celebrity! This Pop! Vinyl is presented in a window display box, the perfect piece to display on your shelf. Grab your own witchdoctor today! ...

Is the gloom, doom, & lack of Nitro boom in your room driving you N. Sane? Well, we have something that’ll fight the dark better than a particular genetically modified bandicoot fights evil scientists… It’s this Crash Bandicoot Bell Jar Light! This Crashstounding light has your favourite bandicoot modelled in amazing detail & encased in a clear bell jar. He’s posed giving two thumbs up better than a film critic with a book of cliched phrases. &, he’s standing on a white base that glows like the light off a TNT explosion! Crash himself is powered by Wumpa fruit & a determination to stop Doctor Neo Cortex. This light is powered by USB… which makes it as portable as a Warp Room vortex! So, if you’re done with the dark & want to get b Aku b Aku to the light, order this officially licensed Crash Bandicoot Bell Jar Light today! * This product is made from Breakdown Plastic, or BDP™, which is naturally decomposing plastic. This type of plastic is completely new to the global gift trade, helping to lower the effects of landfill in the future. This won’t affect the durability of your product but will make it easier to biodegrade if it is thrown away. ...

Crash came to our screens in 1996 & was introduced as a genetically enhanced mutant eastern barred bandicoot. Now you can have this legend in your own home thanks to this Crash Bandicoot Body Knocker. This solar-powered mini Crash, rocks from side to side when he is exposed to light. Now you can have a mini version of Crash on your desk & you can watch him rock for hours of fun. Now you can have a reminder of the game with this 16cm Crash Bandicoot figurine. Order your very own Crash Bandicoot Body Knocker today & start rocking. ...

Ah, Crash Bandicoot – the mutant marsupial who sprang up in the nineties & who represented the first manifestations of the anxiety disorders that have come to define the millennial generation. So, if you need those early-morning, mid-morning, & afternoon coffees to keep you going in the face of everything you’re dealing with these days, our Crash Bandicoot Heat Change Mug is perfect for you! Designed with the classic logo for the Play Station franchise along the top with a grey/blue stone background, Crash appears (presumably taking a break from chowing down on Wumpa fruit) to grace the front of your mug when it’s filled with something hot. So whether you’re searching for an Evolvo-Ray-esque cup of coffee to mutate you into a legitimately productive human being, or if you need a break from fighting off Dr Neo Cortex, this mug is perfect for you. If you’re a connoisseur of classic video games, love the nostalgia associated with Crash Bandicoot or just like to sit & watch those empty parts light up when hot water is in it (science, mate) – we think this mug will be perfect for your lifestyle. It also makes for the perfect gift for that one friend who may sit around playing old games from his childhood a little too much. Either way, this officially licensed Crash Bandicoot Heat Change Mug is a must-have for any gamer. Get yours today in just a couple of clicks! ...