These are Stressticles. Stress Testicles. A lovely rubberised sack of balls to grab & manipulate to ease your anxious mind. & they're therapeutic for both men & women! For women: When the moment strikes, just give these balls a pulverising squeeze & know that if this was real life, the owner of the testicles would be paralysed with fear & pain, dry-heaving & wishing for a swift death. What a calming thought. For men: Stop playing trouser billiards like a mucky little ape! It might feel wonderfully relaxing but it's horrific to watch. Keep your hands off your – in all probability – unwashed balls & relieve yourself with this rubber prosthesis instead.* *although don't stop checking them for lumps n' that. Maybe do it in the shower. ...

Endow your child with rippling washboard abs & the dignified masculinity of a Victorian Strongman. These supremely realistic-looking garments are made from a comfy polyester blend & come complete with a classic striped vest & weight belt to hold in... ...

Endow your child with rippling washboard abs & the dignified masculinity of a Victorian Strongman. These supremely realistic-looking garments are made from a comfy polyester blend & come complete with a classic striped vest & weight belt to hold in... ...

Endow your child with rippling washboard abs & the dignified masculinity of a Victorian Strongman. These supremely realistic-looking garments are made from a comfy polyester blend & come complete with a classic striped vest & weight belt to hold in... ...

Meet Stroodles. No, not the tasty Austrian dessert, but 100% Biodegradable Pasta Straws! They're made from wheat & water, completely flavourless, 20cm long & can be cut to size for cocktails, juices, milkshakes, smoothies & more. You can even eat them! (If you're that way inclined). Just pop 'em in boiling water like regular pasta. ...

Stuffed Blobfish
- Hold & caress the ugliest animal in the world. It needs a hug, just look at the misery plastered across that
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Stuffed Water Bear
- Tardigrades are colloquially known as water bears (or sometimes even moss piglets!), in case you’re not
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Lay down your wobble board & step away from the didgeridoo… there’s a new Stylophone in town & it’s set to create percussive pandemonium. Featuring human beatbox samples, adjustable pitch & tempo, a scratch function & MP3/speaker compatibility, this stylus-operated oojamiflip is totally bonza! ...

The brilliantly bizarre, totally addictive instrument made famous by everyones favourite paint-chucker is back, & it still sounds unlike anything else on earth. As used by luminaries such as Bowie, Pulp & St. Rolf himself, this pocket electronic organ is a musical legend. Skweeeal! ...

Subbuteo, the classic flick & kick football game, is back from an eternity on the bench & it’s better than ever. With sturdier players, a faster pitch & a complement of officially licensed teams, this is the best thing to happen to the beautiful game since Robbie Savage quit the pitch for the dancefloor. ...