Sick of finding your washing up utensils floating in murky waters or worse, scrunched up & going smelly on the side of the sink? No more! Meet the Pelican Cloth Holder. This rare bird has evolved an extra long beak so you can finally hang up your wash cloths & let them dry! You can safely store a sponge or scourer amongst its hind-feathers & a suction cup on its belly fixes it securely to the counter so it won't fly away. You can even pop it in the dishwasher – what a marvellous creature! From now on, doing the dishes will fly by! ...

Are you bored at work? Would you rather be having a kickabout in the park with your mates? If you can’t skive off work, this penal-tea mug with a built-in football net is the next best thing.   & don’t worry
- you won’t have to make a ball out of scrunched-up paper, because the mug comes with its own miniature football. All you have to do is decide what style of penalty you want to try
- cheeky panenka or the run, skip & shoot favoured by Jorginho & Bruno Fernandes?   The best part is that when your manager walks by your desk & asks if you’re working on your goals, you can confidently say yes!

...

Penguin Bomb Craft Kit
- A Japanese paper engineer called Haruki Nakamura has gone & made this incredible Penguin Bomb. The self-taught
...

Penis Hot Water Bottle
- He’s not just for show, it turns out the humble penis is the perfect shape for a hot water bottle,
...

Chilly at night? Not got a hunk to keep your bed warm? We feel ya. Shiver no more, frigid friend. This hot water bottle will keep you willy toasty even in the coldest of temperatures. He’s no use when he’s all floppy, so fill him up with hot water before getting tucked up. Pro-tip: Tuck him down your pants to experience the thrill of having your very own obscenely large, hot dick. He’s not just for show, it turns out the humble penis is the perfect shape for a hot water bottle, distributing that lovely warmth sideways through the balls & lengthwise through the shaft. Mmm, cosy. Just try to ignore his weird little face & be thankful that real penises don’t have them. Mind you, if you were with a man who had a schlong that big, its little grin would be the least of your problems... ...

So many good pasta shapes out there: Farfalle, Fusill, Rigatoni, Conchiglie, Penne. That last one, Penne. Curiously similar in spelling & pronunciation to the Italian word for 'penis'
- 'pene'. To avoid any unnecessary confusion, some kinky chef did the decent thing & created Penis Pasta, & what a joy it is to behold. The Italian classic has been given a wonderful phallic makeover
...

So many good pasta shapes out there: Farfalle, Fusill, Rigatoni, Conchiglie, Penne. That last one, Penne. Curiously similar in spelling & pronunciation to the Italian word for penis – 'pene'. To avoid any unnecessary confusion, some kinky chef did the decent thing & created Penis Pasta, & what a joy it is to behold. The Italian classic has been given a wonderful phallic makeover & it's guaranteed to be a hit at meal times. Novelty looks aside, it's willy delicious. ...

Ignore ageing hipsters who reckon they spent the 70s performing 360s on custom-built skateboards. Figures suggest the vast majority of ‘em owned Penny Skateboards, old school, ultra cool injection-moulded boards that were compact enough to take anywhere. & now they’re back, just as rad as you (probably don’t) remember! ...

Ignore ageing hipsters who reckon they spent the 70s performing 360s on custom-built skateboards. Figures suggest the vast majority of ‘em owned Penny Skateboards, old school, ultra cool injection-moulded boards that were compact enough to take anywhere. & now they’re back, just as rad as you (probably don’t) remember! ...

Ignore ageing hipsters who reckon they spent the 70s performing 360s on custom-built skateboards. Figures suggest the vast majority of ‘em owned Penny Skateboards, old school, ultra cool injection-moulded boards that were compact enough to take anywhere. & now they’re back, just as rad as you (probably don’t) remember! ...