This book presents a provocative challenge to the conventional wisdom of raising children. Author of nine books including the controversial Punished by Rewards" Kohn expands upon the theme of whats wrong with our societys emphasis on punishments & rewards with regards raising children. Kohn the father of young children himself sprinkles his text with anecdotes that shore up his well-researched hypothesis that children do best with unconditional love respect & the opportunity to make their own choices. Kohn questions why parents & parenting literature focus on compliance & quick fixes & points out that docility & short-term obedience are not what most parents desire of their children in the long run. He insists that "controlling parents" are actually conveying to their kids that they love them conditionally
- that is only when they achieve or behave. Tactics like time-out brides & threats Kohn claims just worsen matters. Caustic witty & thought-provoking Kohns arguments challenge much of todays parenting wisdom yet his assertion that "the way kids learn to make good decisions is by making decisions not by following directions" rings true. Kohn suggests parents help kids solve problems; provide them with choices; & use reason humour & as a last resort a restorative time away (not a punitive time-out)."