The funniest wittiest & most cutting one line jokes from around the world collected together in one immaculate collection! Including: The wife said last night I think wed have less arguments if you werent so pedantic". I said " Dont you mean fewer?" Some b*stard has nicked my thesaurus. Im at a loss for words. Ill never forget the words my Grandad said before he kicked the bucket. He said " Son watch how far I can kick this bucket." My dad always used to say " He who smelt it dealt it" which is why he lost his job with British Gas. The key to any marriage is spontaneity. Youve got to be ready to leave at any time. Heres my gym schedule: Monday cardio. Tuesday weights. Wednesday 7 mile bike ride. Thursday 15 year break. Repeat. I was just in the post offi ce & the clerk said " Whats your street name?" I said "I dont have one people just call me Barry.""