If you have ever been asked to 'not keep your legs', offered a 'villain roast bighead' for lunch, or even thought of visiting Buckshutem Wildlife Reserve, you will know that the English language is truly in a parlous condition. The Mad World of Sign Language is a compendium of the most inappropriate, confusing, poorly translated & downright bizarre signs from every corner of the globe, as spotted by the readers of the Telegraph whilst on their travels. It seems that few things amuse & appal this eagle-eyed tribe as much as the abuse, misuse, mistranslation & utter mangling of the English language. Here we present an entertaining round-the-world tour of their most egregious & amusing sightings, as collected by the weekly feature Sign Language. The ailing art of signwriting offers a timely warning about the imperilled state of modern English, both here & abroad. What more efficient & hilarious way to make the point?