` My painter friends think I am a die-hard conservative, my writer friends think I am a man of loose morals. In Jushlin Temple I am a quiet disciple, in the Propaganda Department I am a decadent youth. Women call me a cynical artist, the police call me a hooligan. Well, they can think what they like. I only have 20, 000 days left to live`. In 1983, Ma Jian turned 30 & was overwhelmed by the desire to escape the confines of his life in Beijing. All around him, China was changing. Deng Xiaoping was introducing economic reform but clamping down on ` Spiritual Pollution`; & young people were rebelling. With his long hair, denim jeans & artistic friends, Ma Jian was under surveillance from his work unit & the police. His ex-wife was seeking custody of their daughter; his girlfriend was sleeping with another man; & he could no longer find the inspiration to write or paint. One day he bought a train ticket to the westernmost border of China & set off in search of himself. Ma Jian`s journey would last three years & take him to deserts & overpopulated cities, from scenes of barbarity to havens of tranquillity & beauty. The result is an utterly unique book: an insight into the teeming contradictions of China that only a man who was both an insider & an outsider in his own country could have written.