In this robust, insightful & hitherto only privately available handbook, Parisian wife & mother Hortense de Monplaisir shares with us the secrets of her survival amongst the English. Exiled to London for the sake of her husband`s career, pioneer Hortense delves into the many aspects of la perfide Albion that have long puzzled its closest neighbour & oldest enemy. No one & nothing is safe from Hortense`s penetrating eye as she discusses a diverse range of topics from the inability of the English to speak their mind, their bizarre love of rituals such as the stag party & the country fete & their passion for long muddy walks, to their obsession with World War II, estate agents & incomprehensible fondness for the traditional English pantomime. The result is a double-edged comedy: here are the foibles of the English, seen through the jaundiced gaze of a sophisticated Parisienne. Hortense`s confident interpretations of some of our best-loved national habits (jam with meat, anyone?) will only confirm our long-held view that the French are, indeed, very different.