I've been thinking of an adventure more along the lines of pearl-smuggling in the South Seas or discovering a lost continent. We're being sponsored, you see, so it's got to be full of glamorous locations & scantily clad women. He's conquered the seven seas, hunted Moby Dick & rescued Charles Darwin; now the Pirate Captain & his crew are off on another adventure. Their mission this time: to sail to London, buy a new suit for the Pirate Captain & maybe have some sort of adventure in a barnyard. But nothing is ever straightforward for the hapless pirates. In no time at all, the Pirate Captain is incarcerated at Scotland Yard in a case of mistaken identity. Discovering that his doppelganger is none other than Karl Marx, the Captain & his crew are unwittingly caught up in a sinister plot involving communists, enormous beards & a quest to discover whether ham might really be the opium of the people. ...

' But, Pirate Captain, you love being a pirate', said Jennifer.' That's because I was looking at piracy through rose-tinted spectacles, ' the Captain replied. ' There's very little job security. The hours are terrible. & I keep finding barnacles in my belly button.' The Pirate Captain has finally had enough. Still reeling from his crushing disappointment at the Pirate of the Year Awards, he decides it's time to hang up his hat & ditch his cutlass. Begrudgingly followed by his sceptical but loyal crew, the Captain fixes his sights on a quiet life on the island of St Helena. But his retirement plan is rudely disrupted by the arrival of another visitor to the island
- the recently deposed Napoleon Bonaparte. Has the Pirate Captain finally met his match? Is the island's twenty-eight-mile circumference big enough to contain two of history's greatest egos? & will the pirates be able to settle the biggest question of all: who has the best hat?
...

The year is 1717. The newly discovered island of Pangaea is the most dangerous place on Earth, where dinosaurs still walk the land
-
...

It is with great concern that I must still acquaint your Lordships of the daily complaints I receive of piracies & robberies committed in these parts, insomuch that there is hardly one ship or vessel, coming in or going out of this island that is not plundered.` (Sir Nicholas Lawes, Governor of Jamaica, June 1718) Sir Nicholas Lawes was writing to the British Government during the early 18th century, a time that later became known as the `golden age of piracy`. In the following two centuries fictional works about pirates became increasingly popular, colouring the public perception of this terror of the seas into a romantic, swashbuckling anti-hero who forced prisoners to walk the plank & sought buried treasure where X marked the spot. & yet the reality was far more intriguing & terrible. Ruthless fighters, often horrifically violent, pirates were also outstanding sailors, cunning planners & democratic equal opportunists. Their articles, signed by all crew members (sometimes forcibly), shared the spoils fairly & demanded consideration to each other. Their treatment of prisoners, however, was another matter. In ` The Pirates Pocket-Book`, the true savage story of the pirates comes to light through extracts taken from contemporary books, documents, news articles, witness accounts, & trial reports. From diaries, logbooks, letters & depositions comes the full fascinating take of a pirate`s life & death. The truth about wooden legs, parrots & the `jolly rodger`, treasure maps, pirate attacks & infamous trials, is told through the vivid accounts of those who encountered the pirates personally, as victims, crew members or arresting officers. ...

It's come to my attention that the old girl's a little bit past her best. & I can hardly maintain my reputation as a terror of the high seas with bits falling off the boat all the time, can I? The Pirate Captain is in trouble. Eager to appease his crew with a boat that has a functioning mast, fewer holes & cannons that actually fire, he splashes out on the fancy new Lovely Emma, spending six thousand doubloons he doesn't have. Finding themselves in debt to the beautiful but deadly Cutlass Liz
- or the Butcher of Barbados, as she's otherwise known
- the pirates need to raise some money fast. In a desperate race against time, our heroes embark on an adventure that will take them from the shores of Nantucket to the bright lights of Las Vegas, to the ends of the earth in search of a mythical white whale, & even, perhaps, into the dark depths of madness. But hopefully they'll be home in time for tea.

...

In 1934, a group of Ashington miners & a dental mechanic hired a professor from Newcastle University to teach an Art Appreciation evening class. Unable to understand each other, they embarked on one of the most unusual experiments in British art as the pitmen learned to become painters. Within a few years the most avant-garde artists became their friends, their work was taken for prestigious collections & they were celebrated throughout the British art world; but every day they worked, as before, down the mine. ” The Pitmen Painters” premiered at Live Theatre, Newcastle-upon-Tyne, in September 2007, before transferring to the National Theatre in 2008. ...

” The Pity of It All” is a passionate & poignant history of German Jews, tracing the journey of a people & their culture from the mid eighteenth century to the eve of the Third Reich. As it is usually told, the story of the Jews in Germany starts at the end, overshadowed by their tragic demise in Hitler`s Reich. Now, in this important work of historical restoration, the acclaimed historian & social critic Amos Elon takes us back to the beginning, chronicling a 150-year period of achievement & integration that at its peak produced a golden age second only to the Renaissance. ...

In 2001, Rory Stewart set off from Herat to walk to Kabul via the mountains of Ghor in central Afghanistan. Caught between hostile nations, warring factions & competing ideologies, at the time, Afghanistan was in turmoil following the US invasion. Travelling entirely on foot & following the inaccessible, mountainous route once taken by the Mohgul Emperor, Babur the Great, Stewart was nearly defeated by the extreme, hostile conditions. Only due to the help of an unexpected companion & the generosity of the people he met on the way, did he survive to report back with unique insight on a region closed to the world by twenty-four years of war. This is literary travel writing, but with a greater element of adventure & danger. It is an account of what it is like to travel painfully & slowly on foot in an alien & hostile landscape. Stewart's moving, sparsely poetic account of his walk across Afghanistan has been immediately hailed as a classic. The Places In Between won the Royal Society of Literature Oondatje Award & the Spirit of Scotland Award, & was shortlisted for the Guardian First Book Award, the John Llewellyn Rhys Memorial Prize & the Scottish Book of the Year Prize. ...

In 2001, Rory Stewart set off from Herat to walk to Kabul via the mountains of Ghor in central Afghanistan. Caught between hostile nations, warring factions & competing ideologies, at the time, Afghanistan was in turmoil following the US invasion. Travelling entirely on foot & following the inaccessible, mountainous route once taken by the Mohgul Emperor, Babur the Great, Stewart was nearly defeated by the extreme, hostile conditions. Only due to the help of an unexpected companion & the generosity of the people he met on the way, did he survive to report back with unique insight on a region closed to the world by twenty-four years of war. This is literary travel writing, but with a greater element of adventure & danger. It is an account of what it is like to travel painfully & slowly on foot in an alien & hostile landscape. Stewart`s moving, sparsely poetic account of his walk across Afghanistan has been immediately hailed as a classic. The Places In Between won the Royal Society of Literature Oondatje Award & the Spirit of Scotland Award, & was shortlisted for the Guardian First Book Award, the John Llewellyn Rhys Memorial Prize & the Scottish Book of the Year Prize. ...

The Plagiarist in the Kitchen is an anti-cookbook. Best known as a provocative novelist, journalist & film-maker, Jonathan Meades has also been called `the best amateur chef in the world` by Marco Pierre White. His contention here is that anyone who claims to have invented a dish is delusional, dishonestly contributing to the myth of culinary originality. Meades delivers a polemical but highly usable collection of 125 of his favourite recipes, each one an example of the fine art of culinary plagiarism. These are dishes & methods he has hijacked, adapted, enhanced upon & made his own. Without assuming any special knowledge or skill, the book is full of excellent advice. He tells us why the British never got the hang of garlic. That a purist would never dream of putting cheese in a Gratin Dauphinois. That cooking brains in brown butter cannot be enhanced upon. & why
- despite the advice of Martin Scorsese`s mother
- he insists on frying his meatballs. Adorned with his own abstract monochrome images (none of which `illustrate` the stolen recipes they accompany), The Plagiarist in the Kitchen is a stylish object, both useful & instructive. In a world dominated by health fads, food vloggers & over-priced kitchen gadgets, it is timely reminder that, when it comes to food, it`s almost always better to borrow than to invent.

...