' Trousers That's the secret Put on trousers & the world changes We walk different We act different I see these girls & I think idiots! Get yourself some trousers!' Women belong in the kitchen
- everyone knows that Not in jobs pubs or indeed trousers & certainly not on the front line Polly Perks has to become a boy in a hurry if she wants to find her brother in the army Cutting off her hair & wearing the trousers is easy Learning to fart & belch in public & walk like an ape takes more time & there's a war on There's always a war on Polly & her fellow raw recruits are suddenly in the thick of it All they have on their side is the most artful sergeant in the army & a vampire with a lust for coffee Well they have the Secret & it's time to make a stand