Chris & Carl Palmer are two brothers who have not seen each other for 15 years Carl has just left the army while Chris has woolly hair & a full English beard This is the story of the first three hours following their reunion as Carl tries to find his long-lost son As they hole up at The Mermade Hotel their simple task becomes complicated thanks to a psychotic killer a gung-ho American cop who has fulfilled his ambition to work for the NYPD (North Yorkshire Police Department) & an angry hotel manager bereft of a vital piece of anatomy In what should have been a relatively straightforward seven-mile journey to a garden center Chris & Carl drop in at a jazz fusion disco visit a farm shop discover a new disease & narrowly avoid being killed in a varied selection of gruesome ways