As a boy, Michael Simkins always wanted to be someone. While his friends were out getting laid & stoned, he was tucked up at home dreaming of his name in lights, of holding an audience rapt, of perhaps becoming a TV heart-throb, or having someone, anyone, ask for his autograph in the supermarket. This is the story of an obsessive pursuit of acting fame. It is a life marked by occasional hard-fought successes & routine helpings of ritual humiliation: scout hut Gilbert & Sullivan, dodgy rock operas, sewage farm theatre workshop, Christmas panto hell, straight-to-video film flops, leading roles in Crimewatch reconstructions & dressing up as a chicken to advertise TV dinners. It is a hilarious tale of turgid theatre, tights, trusses & tonsil tennis with Timothy Spall.