Squats? Swiss ball leg curls? Cosmetic surgery?! There are better ways to Grow a Booty. & with our patented method you'll see results in just 15-20 days! ...

Grow A Dick
- This is no bird-of-paradise-flower-situation, these spicy red numbers are unmistakably penile from head to shaft.
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Spicy bellend! No, it’s not an STD, it’s the organic produce from our super easy Grow A Dick Kit! This sassy little cube has a big surprise inside: spoiler alert, it’s everything you need to grow a girthy batch of capsicum annuum
- AKA phallic chillies! This is no bird-of-paradise-flower-situation, these spicy red numbers are unmistakably penile from head to shaft. Except for the little green bit on the stem, obvs. If you actually have one of those on your knob, please see a doctor, you may be at risk of being diagnosed as a plant. All you have do to bring your willy chillies to life is open the cube & pour a little water on the pre-planted seeds. Pop it in a bright, warm place & keep watering every so often to keep them moist
- in 12-18 days, you’ll be seeing a red cock rising out of the soil. Mental. In a few weeks, you could be slicing your very own scarlet bellend into a sexy stir fry! Nice. When you’re ready to repot your plants into something more fitting (coming soon: the Firebox terracotta vagina), the magical eco-friendly cube will slowly decompose & turn into valuable coconut fibre fertiliser for the plant, enriched with all sorts of stuff that makes chillies fully erect big & handsome. Now all you need is a pair of ginger balls to go with them for a culinary genital match made in Heaven.

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When it comes to veggies, there's not a lot to get excited about these days. Our ancestors enjoyed a waaay more psychedelic selection of veg than we do. Bloody Tesco. Thanks to our Grow It Freaky Veg kit you can revive a whole array of trippy-looking treats, including: violet Queen Beans Black Russian Tomatoes Dark Opal Tomatoes Cosmic violet Carrots Hungarian Black Peppers This super satisfying kit comes with hybrid seeds, pots, peat & plant markers so you can get growing right away. Just think, you'll never have to endure a run-of-the-mill orange carrot again! ...

Why grow your own succulents? 1
- Hard to kill! Unlike seemingly every other houseplant on the planet, succulents flourish in
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Kick back & relax, & become zen with gardening with our adorable Grow With The Flow Cat watering spike! This cute meditating toad can be filled with water, & placed into the soil next to your plant, & the water will gradually seep out through the porous terracotta watering spike!   Ideal for both indoor & outdoor use, this terracotta watering tool can keep your herb garden healthy, houseplants happy, & garden grateful! Perfect for holiday watering for plants, this cute toad garden gift is a great addition to any gardener's toolkit!   Whether you're looking for unique gardening gifts for women on Mother's Day, garden gifts for house-proud friends on their birthday, or a secret Santa gift for green-fingered colleagues, this practical & adorable cat gift is sure to put a smile on their face! ...

Kick back & relax, & become toadally zen with gardening with our adorable Grow With The Flow Toad watering spikes! This cute meditating toad can be filled with water, & placed into the soil next to your plant, & the water will gradually seep out through the porous terracotta watering spike!   Ideal for both indoor & outdoor use, this terracotta watering tool can keep your herb garden healthy, houseplants happy, & garden grateful! Perfect for holiday watering for plants, this cute toad garden gift is a great addition to any gardener's toolkit!   Whether you're looking for unique gardening gifts for women on Mother's Day, garden gifts for house-proud friends on their birthday, or a secret Santa gift for green-fingered colleagues, this practical & adorable toad gift is sure to put a smile on their face! ...

If you haven't seen your cat 'under the influence' of Catnip then you've never seen them at their most happy. What begins as excitable meowing usually evolves into a dazed & blissful euphoria, as your cat playfully paws at you, rolls over & splays out on the carpet with a satisfied grin on its little bewhiskered face. It's wonderful to behold. As with anything that gets you 'high', it's always better if you grow it yourself. More control, all-natural, high-purity, isn't cut with oregano etc. ...

You don't want a scraggly wretch of a tree do you? If Saint Nick sees that when he comes down the chimney it'll be coal for the lot of you. You want a proud bushy beast to rally around, & the only way to ensure this is to grow & nurture your very own. ...

Whether it's a strong reflection of your own passionate desires or a delicate floral symbol of the love you wish to extend. Give them the Grow your Clitoria
- guaranteed to outlast other boring disposable Valentines gifts (unless they cruelly neglect it).
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