LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS Hades gets a bad wrap. Lets compliment the God of the Dead.1.GREAT ruler. The Underworld attracts more than 50 million permanent visitors a year!2. HE HAS A DOGGO!!! When Cerberus gives Hades three-headed dog kisses its so cute.3. Hes not petty or vain. So he probably wont like these compliments. Oh well! Hades Gonna Hate*.* These sunglasses wont slip or bounce while crossing the river Styx. Specifications Mirrored Reflective Lenses Best For: Running Laps Around Mortals Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug & light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses & UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA & UVB rays. All Fun. ...

FOR THE SCHOLAR ON A BUDGET: PHG Sometimes they wear tuxedos. Sometimes they wear tweed jackets. Depends on the vibe. They like their coffee mugs secretly full of wine shaken not stirred. Not sure why. It makes a lot of stains. & theyre not fast lovers. Theyre very slow. Like turtles. Reeeaaalllyy taking their time. These sunnies wont slip or bounce while you you sip secret wine & make turtle-like love to a fellow doctor. (WE ARE TOO REAL DOCTORS MOM & DAD!!!) No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug & light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses & UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA & UVB rays. No Dissertation: no one has ever given a dissertation to a doctorate panel wearing PHGs. Yet. ...

FOR THE SCHOLAR ON A BUDGET: PHG Have you ever dreamed of starting your life over as a prospector on an off-world colony mining orgone crystals in outer space?! This gray double bridge round sunglasses can be considered a writeoff then. Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug & light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses & UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA & UVB rays. No Dissertation: no one has ever given a dissertation to a doctorate panel wearing PHGs. Yet. ...

Oh you thought the tortoise was slow? Clearly you have been reading too many of that Aesop guy’s lies! The truth is when you spray a little WD40 on a tortoise’s shell flip it on its back & send it down a hill well they are FAST AS SHELL.* As will you be when you throw on these blue-lensed tortoiseshell shades! Your move Hare.* (We do not condone the use of WD40 on live turtles. This is just a joke people.) RUNWAY GOODRS: RUNNING + STYLE Runway goodrs have all the running performance benefits with a universally flattering high-fashion cateye shape. Have your cateye & eat it too! No Slip: Lightly-textured silicone earpieces use the all new goodr Cat Tongue Technology to offer enhanced protection against slippage. No Bounce: Our frame is crafted to be feather-weight yet snug with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing when running. All Polarised: Glare-reducing polarised lenses & UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA & UVB rays. All Fashion: Look like a model while youre running. Isnt that why youre taking all those running selfies? No Catcalls: We aspire to the day we can guarantee that you wont be whistled at on the street; sadly we cannot make that guarantee. We CAN however guarantee that no person wearing Runway goodrs has ever been telephoned by a cat. ...

LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS This is Ares. He has like... no chill. Dont piss him off unless you want him to jab you with that pointy spear. He is filled with rage & he loves gore. We just hope youve had your tetanus shot. Although no tetanus shot is required for these Ares Has Like... No Chill sunnies. Specifications Mirrored Reflective Lenses Best For: Running Laps Around Mortals Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug & light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses & UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA & UVB rays. All Fun. ...

COSMIC CRYSTALS: OUR NEWEST CELESTIAL OFFERING Have you manifested your Cosmic Crystal yet? Chiseled directly from the mines of your newly opened heart space these Crystals are The Answer from The Universe you have been seeking. Features No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug & light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarised: glare-reducing polarised lenses & UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA & UVB rays. All Hipster/ Influencer/ Dystopian Future Rebel: Whatever persona youre channeling we guarantee no one wearing goodrs has ever been mistaken for not being cool. Or dope. Or whatever the lit people are saying these days. ...

We designed these shades to look good & fit comfortably on your face whether you’re running laps on a track or entering a time machine to the future. OUR NEWEST STYLE THE VRGs A new shape with the same levels of style & performance. We designed these shades to look good & fit comfortably on your face whether you’re running laps on a track or entering a time machine to the future. No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug & light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarized: glare-reducing polarized lenses & UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA & UVB rays. All Fun. ...

INTRODUCING SEE YOU AT THE PARTY RICHTER. Congrats! You won a vacation! & by "vacation" we mean our clumsy goons will dig into your brain & implant false memories of — ohhhh no were getting shut down for violating ethics laws. Whoops-a-daisy. Well forget the vacation. Buy these shades! (And if you think you already bought them youre wrong thats a false memory.) We designed these shades to look good & fit comfortably on your face whether you’re running laps on a track or entering a time machine to the future. OUR NEWEST STYLE THE VRGs New shape with the same levels of style & performance. We designed these shades to look good & fit comfortably on your face whether you’re running laps on a track or entering a time machine to the future. No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug & light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarized: glare-reducing polarized lenses & UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA & UVB rays. All Fun. ...

We designed these shades to look good & fit comfortably on your face whether you’re running laps on a track or entering a time machine to the future. OUR NEWEST STYLE THE VRGs A new shape with the same levels of style & performance. We designed these shades to look good & fit comfortably on your face whether you’re running laps on a track or entering a time machine to the future. No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug & light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarized: glare-reducing polarized lenses & UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA & UVB rays. All Fun. ...

We designed these shades to look good & fit comfortably on your face whether you’re running laps on a track or entering a time machine to the future. OUR NEWEST STYLE THE VRGs New shape with the same levels of style & performance. We designed these shades to look good & fit comfortably on your face whether you’re running laps on a track or entering a time machine to the future. No Slip: special grip coating to help eliminate slippage when sweating. No Bounce: the frame is snug & light-weight with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running. All Polarized: glare-reducing polarized lenses & UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA & UVB rays. All Fun. ...